Family Mediation for LGBTQIA+ People: Impartial, Inclusive and Supportive

Choosing family mediation can feel daunting for anyone. For people within the LGBTQIA+ community, that uncertainty can be even greater. Many LGBTQIA+ clients tell us they worry about being misunderstood, judged, or treated differently because of their identity or family structure.

At The Family Mediation Trust, we believe it is essential to be clear about how mediation works for LGBTQIA+ people, how mediators remain impartial, and how we ensure that everyone feels safe, respected and properly supported throughout the process.

LGBTQIA+ families and modern mediation

Families come in many forms. LGBTQIA+ families may include:

• same-sex couples who are separating
• trans or non-binary parents navigating parenting arrangements
• LGBTQIA+ co-parents who were never a couple
• blended families formed through previous relationships
• people using assisted reproduction or surrogacy

Family mediation is designed to work with all of these family structures. There is no “standard” family model assumed in mediation, and mediators are trained to work without judgement or stereotypes.

What matters is not how your family was formed, but how you want to move forward.

What impartiality really means for LGBTQIA+ clients

Impartiality is a core requirement for all Family Mediation Council (FMC) accredited mediators. For LGBTQIA+ clients, impartiality is often the most important reassurance.Impartiality means that the mediator:

• does not take sides
• does not favour one person’s identity, experience, or perspective over another’s
• does not make assumptions about roles, parenting, or relationships
• treats both people equally and fairly at all times

Being an LGBTQIA-inclusive service does not mean advocating for one person or viewpoint. It means ensuring that everyone is treated with the same respect and care, and that the process is fair, balanced, and non-judgemental.If a mediator could not remain impartial, they would be required to step away from the case.

How LGBTQIA+ clients are supported in mediation

Support in mediation is not about special treatment it is about creating the right conditions for everyone to participate fully and confidently.

In practice, this means:

• using inclusive and respectful language
• recognising diverse family structures without questioning their validity
• avoiding assumptions about gender, parenting roles, or finances
• ensuring both people feel able to speak openly
• adapting the pace and structure of mediation where needed

Our mediators regularly work with LGBTQIA+ individuals and families and understand the importance of creating a space where people feel safe, heard, and taken seriously.

The MIAM: a safe starting point

The Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is a private, confidential meeting where you can talk openly with a mediator before deciding whether mediation is right for you.For LGBTQIA+ clients, the MIAM is an opportunity to:

• ask questions about impartiality and inclusivity
• raise any concerns about comfort or safety
• explain your family structure in your own words
• understand how mediation would work in your circumstances

Nothing discussed in a MIAM is shared with the other person without your consent.

Why many LGBTQIA+ clients choose amicable mediation

Many LGBTQIA+ clients tell us they want to resolve matters amicably, avoiding unnecessary conflict, hostility, or court proceedings where possible.Impartial and inclusive mediation supports amicable outcomes because:

• both people feel treated fairly
• discussions are calmer and more constructive
• solutions are shaped by the people involved, not imposed
• ongoing relationships (especially where children are involved) are protected

Amicable mediation does not mean avoiding difficult conversations. It means addressing them respectfully, with the support of a neutral professional.

Children, co-parenting and LGBTQIA+ families

Where children are involved, mediation focuses on practical, child-centred arrangements. This applies equally to LGBTQIA+ families.

Mediators do not assume:

• who the “primary” parent is
• what roles parents should take
• how families should look

Instead, mediation supports parents to agree arrangements that work for their children and their specific family situation.

What you can expect from us

If you are part of the LGBTQIA+ community and considering mediation, you can expect:

• an impartial and professional mediator
• a non-judgemental and inclusive approach
• respect for your identity and family structure
• a focus on practical, forward-looking solutions
• support to work towards calm and amicable outcomes

You are always welcome to ask questions, raise concerns, or discuss what you need to feel comfortable engaging in mediation.

Final thoughts

Family mediation should be a space where everyone feels respected, heard, and treated fairly. For LGBTQIA+ clients, that means knowing that impartiality is taken seriously, and that inclusion is built into how mediation is delivered, not added on as an afterthought.

At The Family Mediation Trust, we are committed to providing impartial, LGBTQIA-inclusive and amicable family mediation, supporting all families through change with fairness and care.