Impartial, Inclusive and Amicable: What Family Mediation Really Means

When people first consider family mediation, one of the most common questions we are asked is:“Will the mediator be impartial?” Closely followed by:“Is this a service where I will be treated fairly and with respect?” 

These questions are especially important for people who may already feel vulnerable, unheard, or uncertain about how they will be perceived — including members of the LGBTQIA+ community. At The Family Mediation Trust, we believe it is essential to be clear, open, and reassuring about how mediation works, and what clients can expect from us.This blog explains what impartial mediation really means, how it underpins amicable family mediation, and how inclusivity fits naturally within that framework.

Impartiality: the foundation of family mediation

Impartiality is not optional in mediation. It is the cornerstone of the process.

All of our mediators practise in line with the Family Mediation Council (FMC) Code of Practice, which requires mediators to be:

• impartial
• neutral
• non-judgemental
• fair to everyone involved

An impartial mediator does not take sides. They do not favour one person’s views, experiences, identity, or background over another’s. Their role is not to decide who is “right” or “wrong”, but to support both people to have constructive, balanced conversations and to make their own informed decisions.

If at any point a mediator felt they could not remain impartial, they would be required to step back from the case.

What impartiality looks like in practice

In practical terms, impartial mediation means:

• Both people are given equal time and space to speak
• Language is neutral and respectful
• Assumptions are not made about roles, parenting, or relationships
• Decisions are not influenced by a mediator’s personal beliefs
• The focus remains on practical solutions and the future

This applies to all families, including separating couples, co-parents, blended families, same-sex couples, and LGBTQIA+ families.

Impartiality is what allows mediation to remain safe, balanced, and credible for everyone involved.

Impartiality and LGBTQIA-inclusive mediation

We are often asked whether impartiality and being LGBTQIA-friendly are compatible. The answer is yes absolutely.

Being an LGBTQIA-inclusive service does not mean taking a position or favouring one person. It means ensuring that:

• sexual orientation and gender identity are treated with respect
• family structures are not judged or stereotyped
• inclusive and appropriate language is used
• everyone feels safe and able to participate fully

Impartiality requires mediators to treat all clients equally, and that includes LGBTQIA+ clients. Discrimination, bias, or judgement of any kind has no place in family mediation.

Our mediators regularly work with LGBTQIA+ individuals and families and understand the importance of creating an environment where people feel respected, heard, and supported — while remaining fully impartial.

Why impartiality supports amicable mediation

Many people come to mediation because they want to resolve matters amicably, without unnecessary conflict, stress, or expense.Impartial mediation supports amicable outcomes because:

• neither person feels “up against” the mediator
• conversations are less likely to become defensive or hostile
• trust in the process is maintained
• both parties feel ownership of the outcomes

An impartial mediator helps keep discussions focused on problem-solving rather than blame. This is particularly important when children are involved, as amicable arrangements are more likely to be sustainable and supportive of children’s wellbeing.

Amicable mediation does not mean ignoring difficult issues

It’s important to be clear: amicable does not mean pretending everything is fine or avoiding difficult topics.

Amicable mediation means:

• addressing issues respectfully
• managing disagreement constructively
• keeping communication as calm and productive as possible
• focusing on workable solutions rather than winning arguments

Impartiality allows mediators to support these conversations fairly, even when emotions are high or views differ strongly.

Reassurance for anyone considering mediation

If you are considering mediation and wondering whether you will be treated fairly, impartially, and with respect, you should know that:

• impartiality is a professional and ethical requirement
• mediators are trained to work with a wide range of families
• your identity, background, or family structure should never disadvantage you
• you are entitled to ask questions and raise concerns at any stage

At The Family Mediation Trust, we are committed to providing impartial, inclusive, and amicable family mediation, where everyone feels able to engage confidently in the process.

Finally

Family mediation works best when people trust the process. Impartiality is what makes that trust possible. Inclusivity ensures that no one is excluded or judged. Together, they create the conditions for calm, respectful, and amicable resolution.

If you would like to know more about mediation, or have questions about how the process works for your particular circumstances, we are always happy to talk.