Background: Complex History, Shared Concerns

Two years after separating, Jane and David contacted The Family Mediation Trust seeking help to resolve several unresolved issues — parenting time, finances, and the future of the family home. They agreed to attend separate, confidential Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings (MIAMs) to explore whether mediation could offer a constructive path forward.

In her MIAM, Jane disclosed that she had experienced domestic abuse during the relationship and on one occasion after their separation. There had been limited police involvement. Although Jane was open to trying mediation, she expressed concerns about interacting with David directly.

In his own MIAM, David described the relationship as volatile and confirmed he had been arrested once. His contact with their son was infrequent and supervised at the maternal grandmother’s home.

The Approach: Online Shuttle Mediation to Ensure Safety

Given the history of domestic abuse and the emotional sensitivity involved, the mediator assessed whether it would be safe and appropriate to proceed. With both Jane and David expressing a desire to try mediation, the mediator proposed a format that prioritised their safety and comfort: online shuttle mediation.

In this format, both parties join the mediation remotely but remain in separate virtual rooms, with the mediator moving between them. This setup ensured:

• No direct contact between the parties unless explicitly agreed

• A private, neutral online space for each participant

• Emotional and psychological safety for Jane, while still enabling joint decision-making

Before the first session, both Jane and David were fully briefed on the online process — including how the breakout rooms worked, the use of staggered log-in times, and reassurances that they would not appear on screen together unless they chose to.

The Mediation Process: Progress Through Structured Virtual Dialogue

Over the course of three virtual sessions, Jane and David were able to work through their key concerns with the mediator’s support.

They reached agreements on:

• Child arrangements, allowing David to have regular, structured contact with his son

• Keeping their son in the family home, with clear financial responsibilities

• Property and financial arrangements, bringing stability and closure to their shared commitments

Throughout, both parties were provided with access to resources, including information about support for those affected by domestic abuse, such as www.leewaysupport.org.

Key Learning: Mediation Can Be Safe and Effective — Even Online

This case highlights how, with careful planning and the right safeguards, online mediation can offer a safe and effective space for difficult conversations. Shuttle mediation allowed both parties to participate voluntarily, feel protected, and focus on reaching agreements in the best interests of their child.

It is important to note that mediation is not always appropriate where there is a history of domestic abuse. The wellbeing of participants — and especially of any children involved — remains the priority. Where safety concerns exist, mediation is not mandatory and is recognised as an exemption to the court requirement.